Who is the happiest of them all?

Photo Courtesy squeakymarmot
This morning I read a story about the happiest countries in the world (Denmark, says the survey, followed by Switzerland and other Scandinavian countries) and how an organization faithfully conducts annual happiness surveys to learn what constitutes real happiness.

A little later I read about a list of happiest people in UK (don't know how one can narrow down the list to just 100) and another one that provided tips to keep one's kids happy.

Now, either I am attuned to pick up happiness related stories or, finally,the world is waking up to the need to be happy!

I don't really think you should have to try too hard to be happy. Just enjoy what you have been handed by life and things should be fine. Of course, we all want to make our lives better and complacency cannot be mistaken for contentment. However, my point is that even the process to get better should make you happier.

Since different people want different things in life, what provides contentment to one may not be enough for another. After all, the richest and the prettiest people are not necessarily the happiest!

So the fact remains that it is difficult if not impossible to create a model for perfect happiness.You just know how you feel when you feel it. Perhaps, if we consciously try to live every moment, we will enjoy every single one of it. Also, if we try to seek positive out of every situation, no matter how grim, we just might find a perfect antidote to all our worries.

Faster and faster we go..

Photo Courtesy chris gin

Most of us love the quick service and easy availability of goods that technology provides. It is not that hard to see why web surfing has become the main pastime of people. Where else could one hope to get information about any topic under the sun while chatting with a friend, listening to the latest Beyonce number and buying a GAP tee shirt at throwaway price?

The ease with which anything gets done may be to blame for the replacement of things that show love and care with things that are less time consuming. How many people, nowadays, count letter writing as their favorite pastime? How about walking to the neighbors' home for a little chat? Internet, hi tech phones and an increasing number of time saving gadgets have changed our lives considerably.

When I was a kid, only an important function necessitated new clothes and prompted a tour of the local market. For little kids, today, visiting the neighborhood malls for random purchases has become an everyday necessity. Filing nails was a simple task before the compulsory manicures and pedicures came along.

Elders would ask the giggling kids to jump up and down their backs for an easy back massage; but that was before the ubiquitous spas dotted the streets. Why play with noisy children when a little cash could provide a heavenly rub down in sound proof spas? In another era, mommy's painstakingly prepared dishes were the favorites of every child, now they are replaced by the fast foods at Pizza Huts and Mac Donald's.

Most people of the older generation are concerned about the lack of patience, care, time and contentment among young people. They feel that in our attempts to be faster, better and richer, we have lost our abilities to seek simple joys. They cringe at how the changed times have cost us our peace of mind. Don't you agree?

Before and after pregnancy

Photo Courtesy laszlo-photo
If you have gone through pregnancy, you will probably remember the wonderful times the whole world cared about you and looked at you with awe.

Complete strangers gave you their seats, slacker hubby helped with house work, concerned relatives asked about your health and even your workaholic boss asked you to take it easy! Those rosy days of pregnancy lasted just nine months. And even before you settled into the life of the 'chosen one', things took a U turn.

The baby came into your arms and you went back to being the normal, neglected woman!

Here is a light hearted look at the differences between then (during pregnancy) and now (after delivery):

Loads of Advices: If advices came in fits and starts during pregnancy, they come in huge explosions after the baby makes his appearance. People make it their birth right to let you know about every aspect of parenting; even when they have never been within a holding distance of a baby.

Change of attitude: So you were the queen during pregnancy. If paparazzi failed to trace you because you did not resemble a pregnant star, your friends and relatives made you feel like one. You were the most important person on earth. Alas, the myth shatters as soon as you deliver. Now you are a nobody, and the reality hits harder after nine months of stardom.

Physical discomfort: I know a huge belly was tremendously uncomfortable. But at least, people were sympathetic then! Now you have all kinds of invisible pains and no one asks about it. You are incredibly weak and still no one seems to give your plight a second thought.

Physical appearance: The thing is when you were chubby and pregnant, you got great compliments on being healthy. But if you are overweight and not pregnant, the reversal of opinion shocks you. Then, a large midriff was a sign of hope and now it is a symbol of a lazy, unfit woman.

No help: God knows new moms need all kinds of help. Pregnant women have the situation in some control because the baby does not cry for milk, and diaper changes, and definitely does not wake up at nights. In spite of this, while pregnant women are offered all kinds of assistance, the new moms get overlooked by partners, friends and relatives. People, volunteer!

Happy pregnancy!

Photo Courtesy farbfroh
Pregnancy can be the sweetest and the most relaxing time. If the hormones play it right, your face is suffused with glow, your hair shines and your mien takes a soft, even saintly allure. In fact, in spite of the growing belly, you end up looking very delicate and complete strangers might start giving you a second look.

But, of course, all this comes with a huge baggage, impossible to ignore. Depending upon your luck, you may or may not suffer from varicose veins, hemorrhoids, gestational diabetes, high or low blood pressure, frequent vomits, and fatigue, not to mention sleeplessness. I had quite a few problems myself, though on the positive side people did comment on my better complexion!

Apart from the usual physical issues that pregnancy seems to trouble you with, there is the added concern about the state of pregnancy itself. I was constantly worried about my unborn child's health and reviewed the "what not to eat" list a dozen times every day. Loud noise, extra cup of coffee, fish, cheese, cosmetics, chocolate - all those things I never thought twice about became sources of grave concern to my paranoid self.

Anyway, it is undeniable that pregnancy is an incredibly fascinating journey. I definitely had more fun during it than after it when the whirlwind activities related to newborns began!
What about you?

Ain't I a woman?

Photo Courtesy aloshbennett
Women are a harassed lot in most societies and more so if they are economically weak. While the women in educated and moneyed classes often get a lot of respect, those who are poor and illiterate get the short end of the stick. In India, where manual labor is given very little importance and poverty is rampant, women of the poorer sections are treated unfairly on a regular basis.

Are the poor women suffering from malnutrition but still working hard to give their family hot food, not to be respected? Why is it that women from so called upper classes are quickly given seats in trains and buses, but their poorer counterparts left standing?

The very strange attitudinal problem that many seem to be suffering from could be very well solved by this stirring piece:

"That man over there says that women need to be helped into carriages, and lifted over ditches, and to have the best place everywhere. Nobody ever helps me into carriages, or over mud-puddles, or gives me any best place! And ain't I a woman? Look at me! Look at my arm! I have ploughed and planted, and gathered into barns, and no man could head me! And ain't I a woman? I could work as much and eat as much as a man - when I could get it - and bear the lash as well! And ain't I a woman? I have borne thirteen children, and seen most all sold off to slavery, and when I cried out with my mother's grief, none but Jesus heard me! And ain't I a woman?"

Sojourner Truth (1797 - 1883), Women's Convention, Akron Ohio, 1851

Motherhood rocks!

Photo Courtesy Photo-Mojo

Recently I wrote a guest post for an awesome blog called TwentySet. Check it out here!

In the post I wrote about how motherhood teaches you things that you rarely learn from books or your job. Since I am a young mother (by today's standard at least), I have often been asked why I chose motherhood over my career.

It always surprises me that people actually think being a mother is the end of life. For me this has been a beautiful and fruitful beginning!

I have become more active, focussed, organized, confident, ambitious, responsible and definitely happier. I admit, this is not an easy ride and the kind of worries you have to deal with could drive you insane sometimes (as James from another great blog Men With Pens pointed out). But that is a small price to pay for a joy that is incomparable and too well described universally to need more of magniloquence from me ;-)

So all you mothers and fathers out there, enjoy your parenthood! A more beautiful bond is rarely to be found!

Better memory, better life (Part 2)

The brain boosters that I listed in my previous blog are easy to follow and ensure that you stay mentally active throughout your life.

Naturally, if you are really interested, you should do more of your own research and find out as much as possible about brain and its functioning.


Here are a few of the changes that most doctors prescribe for mental fitness:


Photo Courtesy Mike "Dakinewavamo n" Kline
Learn something new to stimulate mind - As long as we keep learning, we keep growing. I was very happy when I received my Bachelor's as I was convinced that this was the end of exams, course books and brain taxing sessions! Now I could live a peaceful and relaxed life with no mental tensions.

Little did I know that such an attitude was disastrous to my brain's health. Education should not end with a degree, it must continue as a life long process. So, a new language, new skill, new subject, new sport, new book - in fact anything that offers novelty to the mind is going to help you and your brain get better.

Interact socially to improve brain's inter cellular communication - No man is an island and if he tries to become one, he is certainly leading himself to a life of misery and deterioration. Since relationships are some of the most complex aspects of our lives, maintaining even a few ensures that we jog our brain very hard. The nuances of social interactions, dealings with (often) unfriendly people, altercations with partner and many more of the twists and turns that we face while interacting with others make us smarter.

If you have trouble finding friends, you could try volunteering or joining clubs or traveling, all of which will force you to become more interactive and socially active.

Try mental exercises (like puzzles, crosswords) to dust mental cobwebs - Many researches have emphasized the importance of Mathematics in keeping our brain in top form. If you are not into numbers, exert your brain by trying out new puzzles, crossword, scrabble and scores of such games that force mind to think creatively. Not only will you spend time doing something more useful than watching an inane program on the idiot box but will also improve your thinking abilities.

Exercise the body to preserve your mind - Since exercise improves blood circulation throughout the body, it definitely increases the blood flow to the brain too. This means that exercise makes our brain more active. Moreover, it keeps you from diabetes, high blood pressure and many other diseases that could quicken cognitive decline. In fact, I have noticed that I get most of my best ideas after an energetic workout!

Eat healthful food to prevent cognitive decline - In India there is a general belief that people who eat a lot of fish tend to have the brightest minds. (Case in point: People from Bengal are considered intelligentsias and most of them eat fish daily! ) While I am a fish lover anyway, after I read the latest research eulogizing the umpteenth benefits of mind foods, I have taken to them with renewed enthusiasm .

So salmon, sardines, tuna, green leafy vegetables, blueberries, legumes, nuts, yogurts have become bigger priorities than ice creams, burgers and fries. And if you have trouble forcing all these foods in big enough portions, consider taking supplemental pills like fish oil pills which are touted to fulfill all omega 3 fat requirements.

Reduce stress to increase brain longevity - This cannot be emphasized enough, according to every doctor I have ever met or read (and with a family of doctors, the number I have talked to is high). No matter what your profession or daily schedule, being light hearted will keep you mentally strong.

You could use meditation to reduce stress hormones. Or you could turn into your own stand up comedian. Making happiness your best friend can make your memory a life long companion too. Another great reason to be happy, isn't it!